First, find a reasonable place to live,
where there are household objects.

An average fork is seven and three quarters of an inch long.
People do not sneeze when they are asleep.

To calculate how long you can go without thinking about her/him:

Kept in the refrigerator, a lock of his/her hair will last over 7,750 years.
A typical sneeze lasts 775 milliseconds – divide this by the
number of times your heart has been broken.  The result is the same
as the number of times in your life you will watch a sunset.

The average length of a bedtime story is seven and three quarters of a minute.
The lifespan of a wire coat hanger is seven and three quarters months.
Your daughter’s favorite stuffed animal is of no use in telling time.

Turn around seven and ¾ times.  Divide by two.
Then divide by the length of a paper straw.